Disassociation vs Contempt



No future.  Huge past.

My past is a huge mystery.  Tomorrow seems like an eternity ago.  I remember all kind of shit but it’s not always the same way.  I shouldn’t complain.  At least I got options.

Mother Lode Out.

* * *

Better Person

I’m guided by spirituality.  But not like most.  My soul ain’t accounted for by the father, the son, or the holy ghost. Fearing evil was a dream, sadly misunderstood.  As I walk through the valley of life, I will fear no good.  I try to be a better person, but that doesn’t mean I’m a sucker, or weak.

These positive thoughts of mine don’t belong with these sacrilicious words, this sacrilicious song.  I’ve yet to meet a tomorrow that I didn’t already love.  But that’s no thanks to your higher power, and His elitist kingdom up above.  I try to be a better person, but I can do it without religion.

Where’s the logic in this book of psalms?  We don’t need the ten commandments to know we need to get along.  I’ll spend my Sundays at the bar getting wasted just for fun.  How is that a sin if I’m not hurting anyone?

I don’t need your book to tell me that lying and stealing is wrong.  People make mistakes.  They’re human.  But that doesn’t mean they don’t belong in better place with all the better ones who try to be better people.  I try to be a better person, but I can do it on my own.

I don’t need redemption.  I’m sorry every day for the good people who think they’ll go to Hell if they don’t get on their knees and pray.  It’s just that kinda bullshit that dispelled any faith I had.  How can you expect good people to pray, especially if their knees are bad.  I try to be a better person.

But sometimes, it’s just not worth it.

No way.

* * *

I have the ability to see into people.  I see good and bad.  In my reality, a person’s goodness is not gauged on how easily they smile or how nice they are capable of being.  Then again there really is no good and bad.

I have met psychopaths and sociopaths in my life, but there currently aren’t any in my reach.  If I were to engage one, I would tread lightly.  A psychopath is most ruthless to those who have discovered them.  With my ability to see into one’s soul, I am an enemy to them.  A psychopath is ruthless, but I too am ruthless.  I don’t fear psychopaths.  Don’t think that I am a coward for being smart enough to avoid danger.


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Posted by: Doug Hell on