Dear Amos

I died.  I fucking died.  Just like that.  There I was cruising through my enemies, saving the Capital Wasteland, one jerk at a time, and then it happened.  I died.

I was kidnapped by aliens.  No this is not me being unmedicated.  I was definitely kidnapped by aliens.  I was sucked aboard Mothership Zeta.  The aliens themselves were not the problem.  I was beating my way through them with efficiency and vigour.  Their weak little bodies were no match for my brutish kickassery.  But then it happened.


Mothership Zeta

I fell.  The marker on my compass was confusing me as to where I should be standing.  I was too preoccupied with my PipBoy to realize I was about to fall off a ledge.  But I did.  I fell and I died.  Just like that.  I was mad.  The Fallout 3 gods are ok with dying and respawning but I’m not.  See, I’m a big fat cheater.  When I play this game I use console commands to buff my stats.  But the only rule is I can’t die.  If I die, then that’s it.  No second chances.  I start all the fuck over.

How come I can make weapons out of parts I scavenge such as turpentine, sensor modules, crutches, steam gauge assemblies, toy cars, cherry bombs, leaf blowers, scorpion stingers, medical braces, surgical tubing, wonderglue, lunchboxes, etc.  But I can’t make a bicycle?  I would love a bicycle.  Screw the weapons.  I want a bike!  Walking everywhere is a damn pain.



Although I am not sure I would want to be riding a bike only to get clothes-lined by a Deathclaw.  Speaking of which.  Deathclaws are something on their own.  They stand about 10 feet tall.  They have razor sharp claws.  They’re fast.  They look like a cross between a demon straight outta hell, and a raptor.  I shit you not.  They’re about as fast and cunning too.  Whenever you encounter a Deathclaw, it’s a definite OH SHIT moment.  You’re never in a situation where you’re like, oh look a Deathclaw, I better kill it.  Nope.  It’s OH SHIT!!!  DEATHCLAW!!!

Deathclaws always get the drop on you.  Unless they’re hanging out predictably at Old Olney, they get the drop on you.  They’re jerks too.  It takes a lot to kill them.  So you could imagine how surprised I was to find a DEATHCLAW SANCTUARY.

I’m not kidding.  Let me break this down.

  1. 1.
    a place of refuge or safety.
    “people automatically sought a sanctuary in time of trouble”
    synonyms: refuge, haven, harbor, port in a storm, oasis, shelter, retreat,hideaway, hideout More

  2. 2.
    a nature reserve.
    “a bird sanctuary”
    synonyms: reserve, park, reservation, preserve

    “a bird sanctuary”

    Now let’s have a look at the aforementioned Deathclaw.

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    Deathclaws have a hunchbacked, bipedal reptilian build with long humanoid arms. They stand roughly nine to ten feet tall, with a thick and resilient hide, powerful muscles, and twelve-inch-long, razor-sharp claws that can kill almost any other creature in only a few swipes; hence their name. They have an excellent sense of smell and hearing, though their eyesight is poor. Their build gives them incredible speed, agility and strength in close combat, making them an extreme threat.

    And there you have it.  With the exception of a few well constructed buildings left over from before the war, most houses are little shanties made out of aluminum and dead Mole Rats.  A Deathclaw could look at a wasteland shanty and it would fall over.  But no.  These Deathclaws have a SANCTUARY, aptly titled “Deathclaw Century”.

    But Doug Hell!  Why not just avoid it completely?

    Easy.  First of all.  That would be cowardly.  Well maybe not.  It would be common sense.  But if you want the Endurance Bobblehead, you gotta go in.  Thankfully, it’s near the entrance.  So if you’re competent enough, you can sneak in and grab it, then pull the Texas sneak right back out.  But there is one of the best weapons in the game right in the middle of the sanctuary.  It’s worth it too.  It’s a Gatling Laser called Vengeance.  It’s one badass gun.

    I hate you Deathclaws!

    More later.



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