Rape Velocity

Radar Hate is officially back.  Here are 9 new demos for your listening and dancing enjoyment.

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Strong Female Lead: The Ultimate Oxymoron

Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was pretty awesome.  Right up until the end.  The Alexandrians infiltrated The Saviors’ settlement.  A lot of Saviour heads were stabbed in their sleep before a fire alarm was pulled and all hell broke loose.  The head stabbing ceased and bullets started flying.  No more need to be subtle.  The Alexandrians were still fucking shit up even without home ice advantage.  Things were heatin’ up.

Eventually the Alexandrians made it outside where it was automatically daylight.  They get outside and just kinda saunter around on the grounds completely exposed by the brightness of the day.  There was obviously no concern of repercussion.  Then suddenly from the building of the Saviors comes an Aryan kamikaze on Darryl’s motorcycle which was previously lifted from him along with his crossbow.

Let me interrupt this to state that Darryl is just as badass without his crossbow and motorcyle?  Ok?

Anyway.  Darryl lays a beating on the guy demanding to know where he got the motorcyle.  I can’t remember what Aryan said.  He taunted Darryl into shooting him or some gay shit.  And then it happened.

The Aryan brought out a walkie talkie with him and suddenly there was a FEMALE voice on it telling the Alexan-

Now hold it right there!  A FEMALE?!  What the fuck?!  What the FUCK?!!

Now I am not going to rant about the inconsistencies with the comic.  That doesn’t bother me.  I love the comic too.  But I do like the show a little better.  There is no Darryl in the comics.  Darryl is my baby.  I love Darryl.  If Darryl dies, I riot.  Darryl dies and there is no more watching for me.

But a female voice?!  They just stormed Negan’s fortress, went on a beautiful headstabbing spree, had an apocalyptic gunfight,  get out unscathed (Abraham got a minor cut), linger around in broad daylight ONLY TO GET BUSTED BY A FEMALE VOICE ON A WALKIE TALKIE.

What’s with this female bullshit?  Women aren’t scary.  Not in the sense that they wish they were anyway.  Here we are in a rough and tumble brave new world and somehow some stupid bitch managed to rise to power amidst a bunch of brutes.  She shouldn’t even have walkie-talkie privileges!  That really sucked the serenity out of me.

My favourite lines came in the second season.

Daryl Dixon: I’m going to borrow a horse and head up to this ridge right here. Get a bird’s eye view of the whole grid. If she’s up there I’ll spot her.

T-Dog: Good idea. Maybe you’ll see your chupacabra up there, too.

Rick Grimes: Chupacabra?

Dale Horvath: You never heard that story? First night in camp, Daryl tell us the whole thing reminds him of the time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra.

Jimmy: [laughs]

Daryl Dixon: What are you braying at, jackass?

Jimmy: So, you believe in a bloodsucking dog?

Daryl Dixon: You believe in dead people walking around?

What does this have to do with anything?  Well I’m glad you asked.  Yes The Walking Dead is a far-fetched story and couldn’t possibly be taken seriously on any level.  That little dialog kinda brings that home a little bit.

But a strong female character is where I draw the line.  They don’t exist.  No skirt on the planet is going to lead a bunch of bloodthirsty savages.  The skirts who are still alive will be fodder for the lustful needs of the stronger men and will indulge those very men to save their own hides.  Maybe Rhonda Rousey could….  But even then.  She’s still a female.

I’m not sure I am going to even continue watching.  They done and fucked up a great episode.  Stop inserting strong female leads into movies.  Strong females just don’t exist.

I hope The Walking Dead redeems itself.  That stupid bitch better be one of Negan’s wives being used as a pawn or something.  I don’t accept this at all.

IF YOU TOOK THIS RANT SERIOUSLY THEN YOU’RE A BONA-FIDE FUCKING MOOK.  I KNOW THERE ARE SOME OF YOU WHO CAN PICK UP ON THE IRONY ABOUT HOW SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST AMIDST SOMETHING EVEN MORE GLARING THAT DOESN’T EXIST, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE MANY WHO DON’T, AND I HAVE TO PROVIDE A LUCID EPILOGUE EXPLAINING, THEREFORE COMPLETELY TAKING THE FUN OUT OF IT.  BUT ULTIMATELY, I HAVE TO.

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Vulgar Display Of White Power

I took a long hiatus from posting for a while.  The reason being Fallout 4.  I have over 800 hours logged into it.  I’ve gained about 30 pounds.  But fear not.  I went out the other day and got a home gym, and believe me when I say I am using it.  The Barack Obama Clubhouse has been moved to the second floor of my house.  I have a lot more room.  Until Queen Hell kindly cleaned it for me, it looked like a pawn shop threw up in here.  But that time has come and gone.  It’s now nice and clean.  Just like my conscience.

Anyway.  Fallout 4.  848 hours.  And you know what?  I haven’t even scratched the surface.  I’m addicted to building settlements.  I keep starting over too.  When I first got the game, Queen Hell would watch me play it.  But then she got bored really fast because it wasn’t very exciting about watching a guy build settlements.  To appease her, I decided to toggle God mode.  I hate capitalizing the word “God”, but it seems we have to.  Anyway, on God mode you can’t get hurt and you have unlimited resources, including ammo.

So it was on this glorious God mode that I decided to power through the main story line.  Queen Hell is genuinely interested in what became of Shaun.  Shaun is my son who was kidnapped at the beginning of the game.  Myself?  I didn’t give a floppy fuck about some imaginary kid from a game world.  I don’t even care about my real kids.  Why would I try to save a kid in a world full of opportunities and evil beasts?

“To defeat not be consumed by the monster, one must become an even more fierce monster.”

– Doug Hell

I know I’m a day late and a buck short for this one but what’s with all this crying about Phil Anselmo and his supposed racism?  So some douchebag catches Phil Anselmo doing a Nazi salute and screaming “WHITE POWER!” to a bunch of fools at a Dime Bash.  Well there’s your first problem.  Fans of Dimebag listen to Pantera because it makes them feel tough.  My experience with Pantera fans brought me to the conclusion they’re generally bullies.  They denounce anything that isn’t loud and unintelligible.  They associate genres like Death Metal with Satan shit, and explosions.  Armageddon.  That kind of shit.  The reason they worship that kinda crap is because they know if all that horrifying balloonjuice was real then they would be fucked.  So they have this crazy idea that if they worship it, they would be spared if the aforementioned horrors suddenly became real.  It’s kinda like the bible.  It was written by pussies to scare stronger people into behaving.

Back to Phil Anselmo.  Let me be crystal clear.  I can’t stand Pantera.  I can’t stand anyone in that band.  I can’t stand their music.

So Phil Anselmo gets busted on film acting like a jackass.  What the fuck do you expect from a guy like Phil Anselmo?  He’s not intelligent enough to come up with something with more substance to antagonize a crowd.   So he acts like a racist buffoon.  I’m 43 years old.  Before I continue this rant I need to post a recent pic of myself to rub it into all you ugly 43 year olds out there.

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Yeah you wish you looked that good.

How is it I can’t tell a story without making it all about me again?

Anyway.  I don’t care if Phil Anselmo is racist or not.  What he did was freakin’ stupid.  But I don’t think he should be put up on a cross by all the sanctimonious cunts of the world.  How can we as a human species expect any good to come of this?

Let’s take all the hate we feel towards Phil.  Let’s put it all into my reality bending machine and turn it into positive energy, and love.  Now let’s take that love and do things that do matter and make the world a better place.  It’s not hard.  It really isn’t.  It’s just too inconvenient.  Why do some good when there is beer that needs to be drank?  Why do some good when someone’s wife needs to be fucked?  To hell with hugging your children and enriching their lives.  Your ex-husband must pay for seeing you for the disgusting albatross that you are, and moving on.

I have done more good in this lifetime than anyone reading this blog.  I’ve affected people positively.  I’ve helped people change for the better.  Every single person who has ever had a conflicting story line with me has met someone amazing.  I could go on.  But that is a non-fiction novel yet to be written.  I just don’t have the time on here.  The mendicants of the world who read my blogs from the shadows don’t deserve any more than I give.

 

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Standing Before Apparitions

Foo Fighters are the new Nickelback.

I hate the fucking Foo Fighters.  I fucking hate Dave Grohl.

Heaven forbid, I say that out loud.  I mean you just don’t say such things, right?  Especially in a bar.  You’re bound to offend a bunch of mendicants who had no intention of showing up to that very bar without engaging in some kinda verbal or physical confrontation.  Usually it’s just verbal, with the mere threat of physical.

But… but… but… Nirvana…  Fair point.  I used to love Dave Grohl as a drummer.  I liked him as the amiable and quietest member of Nirvana.  No, Kurt was not the quietest.  Don’t be fooled.

But… but… but… Everlong.  Another fair point.  Everlong was and is a great song.  Even worthy of being on a Top 100 of all time, somewhere.  I just don’t know where.

Since then, Foo Fighters have risen to be the most mediocre band on the planet.  They should be enjoying the same amount of success as an even better mediocre band like The Smithereens, which I happen to love.  The Foo Fighters would never have risen to fame if it weren’t for Dave’s success with Nirvana.

Dave likes to be Mr. Nice Guy.  The wannabe comedian is forever trying to make us laugh with his funny little videos and little skits.  But does that make him a great musician?  Just because the guy is famous and rich enough to be an asshole, and he’s not, it doesn’t mean he’s a great musician, or the part of a great band.  Just because we see his goofball mug popping up here and there, behind the drums of some other project, it doesn’t mean he’s the man.

Dave forgets where he came from.  It’s true.

Ok so this video isn’t what the title suggests.  Ol’ Buzz tells a story about Dave.  Watch the video.  Don’t be a mendicant.

How does everyone hate Nickelback but love Foo Fighters?  Every time I’m unfortunate enough to be near a radio I hear one of those bands.  It’s either Nickelback, or the Foo Fighters.  I liked a couple songs from Nickelback’s first couple albums.  Same with the Foos.  They’ve both exploded into international superstardom and are over-saturating the airwaves with formulaic rock debris.  Hell, Nickelback are even Canadian and that doesn’t buy them any leeway.

Dave makes everything about him.  Sound City?  All about him.  All about the Foos.  Sonic Highways?  All about him.  All about the Foos.  But mendicants don’t give a Frenchman’s fuck.  How can something so omnipresent actually be bad for you?

I don’t dispute that Dave is such a nice guy when he knows he’s being watched.  A lot of people are.  The Durham Region music scene has plenty of those.  Any music scene does.  But when the lights are out, there they are trying to fuck your girlfriend.

I’m sick of Dave’s shit.  Yay Dave for rick rolling the Westsomething fucking church.  Yay Dave for making sure you were on the drums when the Foos payed tribute to Zeppelin.  Yay Dave for spoofing Carrie when doing the ice bucket challenge.  Yay for denouncing anyone who doesn’t record with tape.  Yay for taking pot shots at hip-hop music when receiving a Grammy.  Yay for returning to a show after breaking your leg.

It’s nice to have money.  You can create these cute little spoofy movies.  You can say or do anything you want and cutely grin about it.  Or you can pretend you have a big announcement to make when you’re not quite getting enough attention.  Only to not announce anything and provide us with another cute little spoofy movie.

But they’re so great live, right?  Right?

They are playing bland formulaic rock debris.  They are a five-piece band.  Yay.  Fucking impressive.  And for someone who claims to not liking to talk between songs, he sure does a fuck of a lot of it.  It’s never anything important.  Just the usual cut-rate comedy you’d expect from the guy at the bar who doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.

The Foo Fighters are irrelevant.  Anyone who wants to be taken seriously and be a Foo Fighters fan, is irrelevant.

You may be the odd exception though.  Because you’re here.

 

 

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