Strong Female Lead: The Ultimate Oxymoron

Last night’s episode of The Walking Dead was pretty awesome.  Right up until the end.  The Alexandrians infiltrated The Saviors’ settlement.  A lot of Saviour heads were stabbed in their sleep before a fire alarm was pulled and all hell broke loose.  The head stabbing ceased and bullets started flying.  No more need to be subtle.  The Alexandrians were still fucking shit up even without home ice advantage.  Things were heatin’ up.

Eventually the Alexandrians made it outside where it was automatically daylight.  They get outside and just kinda saunter around on the grounds completely exposed by the brightness of the day.  There was obviously no concern of repercussion.  Then suddenly from the building of the Saviors comes an Aryan kamikaze on Darryl’s motorcycle which was previously lifted from him along with his crossbow.

Let me interrupt this to state that Darryl is just as badass without his crossbow and motorcyle?  Ok?

Anyway.  Darryl lays a beating on the guy demanding to know where he got the motorcyle.  I can’t remember what Aryan said.  He taunted Darryl into shooting him or some gay shit.  And then it happened.

The Aryan brought out a walkie talkie with him and suddenly there was a FEMALE voice on it telling the Alexan-

Now hold it right there!  A FEMALE?!  What the fuck?!  What the FUCK?!!

Now I am not going to rant about the inconsistencies with the comic.  That doesn’t bother me.  I love the comic too.  But I do like the show a little better.  There is no Darryl in the comics.  Darryl is my baby.  I love Darryl.  If Darryl dies, I riot.  Darryl dies and there is no more watching for me.

But a female voice?!  They just stormed Negan’s fortress, went on a beautiful headstabbing spree, had an apocalyptic gunfight,  get out unscathed (Abraham got a minor cut), linger around in broad daylight ONLY TO GET BUSTED BY A FEMALE VOICE ON A WALKIE TALKIE.

What’s with this female bullshit?  Women aren’t scary.  Not in the sense that they wish they were anyway.  Here we are in a rough and tumble brave new world and somehow some stupid bitch managed to rise to power amidst a bunch of brutes.  She shouldn’t even have walkie-talkie privileges!  That really sucked the serenity out of me.

My favourite lines came in the second season.

Daryl Dixon: I’m going to borrow a horse and head up to this ridge right here. Get a bird’s eye view of the whole grid. If she’s up there I’ll spot her.

T-Dog: Good idea. Maybe you’ll see your chupacabra up there, too.

Rick Grimes: Chupacabra?

Dale Horvath: You never heard that story? First night in camp, Daryl tell us the whole thing reminds him of the time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra.

Jimmy: [laughs]

Daryl Dixon: What are you braying at, jackass?

Jimmy: So, you believe in a bloodsucking dog?

Daryl Dixon: You believe in dead people walking around?

What does this have to do with anything?  Well I’m glad you asked.  Yes The Walking Dead is a far-fetched story and couldn’t possibly be taken seriously on any level.  That little dialog kinda brings that home a little bit.

But a strong female character is where I draw the line.  They don’t exist.  No skirt on the planet is going to lead a bunch of bloodthirsty savages.  The skirts who are still alive will be fodder for the lustful needs of the stronger men and will indulge those very men to save their own hides.  Maybe Rhonda Rousey could….  But even then.  She’s still a female.

I’m not sure I am going to even continue watching.  They done and fucked up a great episode.  Stop inserting strong female leads into movies.  Strong females just don’t exist.

I hope The Walking Dead redeems itself.  That stupid bitch better be one of Negan’s wives being used as a pawn or something.  I don’t accept this at all.

IF YOU TOOK THIS RANT SERIOUSLY THEN YOU’RE A BONA-FIDE FUCKING MOOK.  I KNOW THERE ARE SOME OF YOU WHO CAN PICK UP ON THE IRONY ABOUT HOW SOMETHING THAT DOESN’T EXIST AMIDST SOMETHING EVEN MORE GLARING THAT DOESN’T EXIST, BUT UNFORTUNATELY THERE ARE MANY WHO DON’T, AND I HAVE TO PROVIDE A LUCID EPILOGUE EXPLAINING, THEREFORE COMPLETELY TAKING THE FUN OUT OF IT.  BUT ULTIMATELY, I HAVE TO.

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Posted by: Doug Hell on