Midnight In The Land Of Milk And Honey

No more cigarettes.  No more midlife crisis.  No more waiting for the next destination.  Now is what matters.  That, and all this darkness.  Darkness is en extremely important part of my light.  I love darkness and its delusions.  Without it, I would be dead.

I’m not sure I’m ready for November.  Shit’s going to get real.  No more pussyfooting and being a pathetic wench.  If the sound of this frightens you, that is fine.  You can lie.  You can freak out.  You can get gone.  But don’t feign indifference.  Indifferent people don’t come to this place.  Your facade of apathy means precisely fuck all.

Here comes November.  Here comes more life in the dark.

I can’t stop dreaming of the Sandwich district in Windsor.  It’s the closest thing to Detroit we have in Canada.  I want to go there.  I want to live there amidst the burnt out and boarded up houses.  It’s calling me.  I need thousands of dollars to disappear and never be seen again.  My saving account is in the 3 digits.  My chequing in the 2.  I hate money but I have to admit, when you need the beauty of despair in your life, it sure comes in handy.

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The Laughter In Your Halo

I’m just coming off a bender.  This bender doesn’t include alcohol or substances that enhance my bad intentions.  My bad intentions don’t need to be encouraged-ever.  Want to stop me?  Kill me.  It’s the only way.

The pen is mightier than the sword, but not the appetite for nihilism.

The world as we know it is going to end soon.  Then I will finally be free.  No longer will I be shackled by the laws that were created to protect cowards with a lot of money.  Demons will attack the earth.  They will be fierce, but I too am fierce.  I’m the one they’re taught to fear.  Cowards with money will be powerless because demons can’t be bought, or ridiculed into submission.

And so I wait.

There’s a sacred mire Clarington where good memories go to die.  I go there daily.  My well is running dry.  My mind is a slow burn.  All the logical parts of it dissipate.  Halloween will come and I will show my true form, only to succumb to the bastardized representation of me.  You can’t scare me with the threat of God’s love.

I’m not long for this world.  But I don’t mind.  Some people need to die so others can live.  I’ve not only accepted this but I endorse it.  Halloween is coming.  In November I’ll turn to a shadow, or a bad memory, or a fever.  The years will go by and I will change violently, but at least my hands will stop shaking.  The chip on my shoulder is less a burden, more  a mentor.

I came uninvited in this world I didn’t ask for.  These are end times.

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If I’m Getting Murdered You’re Getting Murdered Too

I have been signed by Skin City Records.  It’s a brand new label, owned and operated by Trole.  Woot!  I’m going to be rich.  Then I am going to give it all away.

Things have been crazy.  What else is new?

More to report soon.

DH

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Gone In 60 Erections

So I have a new hobby.  STEALING CARS!!

That’s right.  I’ve become so sad and pathetic that I am stealing cars like a motherfucker.  It’s fun.  It’s not the thrill of the stealing either.  It’s that it pisses off the right people.  VROOOOOOOOM!!!!

Anyway, I must be stopped.  The police must be called.  Email me if you want my address so I can make the whole process easier.  I suppose I could just post it out here…  But not everyone wants me to fry.

*     *     *

You can’t break love.  You fucking can’t.  If two people really love each other, there is no amount of horseshit that can change that.  You can lie, manipulate, ummm get hammered, scheme, or whatever the fuck else, but those two people will continue to love each other.  You can’t decide for them.  I always believe in love.  LOVE HARD.  I have the tattoos on my fingers that say so.  The Doug Hell documentary is called LOVE HARD.  LOVE HARD.  LOVE HARD.

So that’s right.  Don’t try to break someone else’s love because you don’t have it.

*     *     *

I saw the teaser trailer for the aforementioned Doug Hell documentary.  I’m quite blown away.  And I’m a hard guy to blow away.  I’m thinking of giving Doug Hell lessons.  Since everyone wants to be Doug Hell.  Especially those who revile me because they couldn’t beat me and I wouldn’t let them join me.

– be honest (even to a fault)
– stand up to bullies
– be nice to anyone who is nice to you even if you don’t like them.  That’s not being fake.  That’s being polite.  It takes 2 seconds to be polite to someone.
– don’t fight every injustice that you bear witness to.  Just keep an eye on your own backyard.
– you are the most important person alive.  Own it.
– Just be like me.  10203847253842096

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The Night Is Our Companion But It Won’t Shroud Our Desires

I am here.  I wait.  I won’t ever not wait.

People don’t know our love.  They don’t understand.  That’s ok.  Their ignorance isn’t intentional.  They just don’t feel what we do, and they never have.  You and I got lucky.

You push that monster off the cliff once and for all.  I’ll wait as long as it takes.  Forget about love.  Forget about obligations.  Forget about your life’s work.  Take care of you.  Because you are my life.  I can’t live knowing you’re not ok.  You forget about me.  You do whatever it takes to make you better.

I will stand by you and work with whoever or do whatever it takes to help you.  Because this isn’t about me.  This isn’t about my acrimonious relationship with others.  This is about you doing what is best for you and getting you the help you need.

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While I Stand Alone

My mind.  It’s where good memories go to die.  Our love is a prison.  We’re doing time.  There is no reward for good behaviour.  Just a life sentence.  We’re in this together.

I hang my head.

I’m not the reckoner.  I’m the fool.  I’m the charlatan.  I am what never was and never will be.  I walk alone into the land of broken promises.  There will be no legacy.  There will be no tears.

I’m a monster.  Don’t put your faith into me.  I will fuck up everything you hold sacred, kept in time only by good intentions with the most catastrophic of results.

I’m not long for this world.  I’m not happy.  I’m not sad.  I’m just a void of narcissism and great pain.  I must be stopped.

There is no love or humanity.  We only haven’t destroyed each other yet because we haven’t figured out the means to without hurting ourselves.  But it’s only a matter of when.  This scares me.

We’re all going to die.

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Love Hard: A Psychopath’s Lament

Click on the picture to enlarge it.  This is what happens when you’re spectacular.  Too bad YOU’RE not spectacular  Stop hating on me for being spectacular.  Hell, I love saying the world.

Doug Addict:  Hello Doug.  How are you today?

Doug:  Spectacular.

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CLICK TO ENLARGE!

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Surround Yourself With People That You Love

I’m on vacation in Toronto.  Yeah I know.  What the fuck is in Toronto besides fake people and their boring lives and fake wooden love?  SEX.  That’s what.

*     *     *

I can’t wait till this year is over with.  2016 will forever be known as the year of shitty people.  I do mean shitty too.  Megalomaniacal, egocentric, sociopathic, emotionally devoid pieces of shit who use people like kleenex to nourish their own twisted agendas.  People who are fucking BORING with no real purpose in their lives other than to be fake and look regal in the eyes of their peers.

God it’s good to be real.  All my happiness and joy comes from within.  I don’t need to drink or destroy others to get it.  I’ve have what they’ll never find.  And it kills them.

*     *     *

I fucking love Justin Trudeau.  What a humanitarian.  He’s everything that is right with the world.  I love how he lays the smack down on the greedy upper class.  I love how he’s going to improve situations for the natives.  I love that his mere existence pisses off shitty people.  I can relate.

*     *     *

Remove ALL toxic people from your life.  Do it.  Watch how fast things get better.  Don’t ever let shitty people bully you into thinking you need them.  You don’t need shitty people.

*     *     *

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Thank God For Mental Illness

My name is Douglas David Hill. I am 43 years old and my life is just beginning.

Please be advised that 95% of the content on this site is the ramblings of a madman. It is not to be taken as gospel. The varied truths are misleading. This is not happenstance. It took me 39 years to battle these ghosts that haunt my useless existence. I always mistook my venom as less an adversary, and more a martyr.

Doug Hell cannot be trusted as a human being. The creativity that coagulates through his blood governs his entire being.

As well as mine.

Doug Hell will die as a human being. He will die by my hand and become a part of a higher power. This energy will
continue to live and I will do my best to honour his legacy and keep it alive.

END TRANSMISSION

I am Doug Hell. The passage above is paranoid tripe. If you’re reading this here, then I am probably dead and gone. If not, you can rest assure it’s only a matter of time before Doug Hill comes calling for me. Doug Hill doesn’t want to exploit his genius to the planet as I do. If one never hears my art, then it’s because reality has ceased to be real, forever and ever. I am arrogant and there is no topic in the world more interesting than myself, and instead of universal anonymity, I am more partial to the limelight. However, if the ultimatum lies in anonymity or death, then I must die.

And I don’t mind. 🙂

– Doug Hell

 

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