Gone In 60 Erections

So I have a new hobby.  STEALING CARS!!

That’s right.  I’ve become so sad and pathetic that I am stealing cars like a motherfucker.  It’s fun.  It’s not the thrill of the stealing either.  It’s that it pisses off the right people.  VROOOOOOOOM!!!!

Anyway, I must be stopped.  The police must be called.  Email me if you want my address so I can make the whole process easier.  I suppose I could just post it out here…  But not everyone wants me to fry.

*     *     *

You can’t break love.  You fucking can’t.  If two people really love each other, there is no amount of horseshit that can change that.  You can lie, manipulate, ummm get hammered, scheme, or whatever the fuck else, but those two people will continue to love each other.  You can’t decide for them.  I always believe in love.  LOVE HARD.  I have the tattoos on my fingers that say so.  The Doug Hell documentary is called LOVE HARD.  LOVE HARD.  LOVE HARD.

So that’s right.  Don’t try to break someone else’s love because you don’t have it.

*     *     *

I saw the teaser trailer for the aforementioned Doug Hell documentary.  I’m quite blown away.  And I’m a hard guy to blow away.  I’m thinking of giving Doug Hell lessons.  Since everyone wants to be Doug Hell.  Especially those who revile me because they couldn’t beat me and I wouldn’t let them join me.

– be honest (even to a fault)
– stand up to bullies
– be nice to anyone who is nice to you even if you don’t like them.  That’s not being fake.  That’s being polite.  It takes 2 seconds to be polite to someone.
– don’t fight every injustice that you bear witness to.  Just keep an eye on your own backyard.
– you are the most important person alive.  Own it.
– Just be like me.  10203847253842096

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