Ok. It’s over. I fucked up. I have sinned in arrogance. I have sinned in complacency.
I used to think I could see into anyone’s soul. I used to think that I could see through a con a million miles away. I can’t. I’ve been a god damn fool. I’m pathetic.
For the last three years of my life I’ve been played. I’m a joke. I don’t have the ability to see into people. If I did I would not be in this situation right now. It’s with the heaviest heart and utmost humiliation I admit I was wrong.
I did my very very best to be the best friend I could be to someone. You know what? That isn’t true either. I’ve been hopelessly manipulated and played and lashed out to people who ARE NOT my enemies. And let’s be honest. It’s not the other person’s fault I’ve been played this whole time. It’s no one’s fault but mine. I haven’t been a the best friend I could be to this person either. All I’ve done is support their negative behaviour.
I owe way more apologies than I am comfortable admitting. I would do it publicly out here but I know for a fact these people would not want their names mentioned on here. I would do it to their face (as I like to do things) but they won’t have me anywhere near them and for very good reason.
I am heartbroken, but more effectively, disgusted at my behaviour for turning this blog into a venue for my little pot shots at people who are NOT my enemies.
I am very, very, very, sorry. I’m not going to close this blog down because I believe I can do some good with it. Also, I need this catharsis. But I swear on my family’s lives I will never ever reduce myself to the obnoxious, ignorant, jerk that I have been since I started this in late 2014.
To those I’ve insulted, and offended, I humbly apologize and don’t expect forgiveness. You’ve earned your ire. You deserve it. This isn’t mea culpa. Well I guess it is. I know I’ve had moments of clarity in the past and have tried to not be such a fucking asshole, but I also know that this apology means precisely fuck all if I don’t show I am sorry. Talk is cheap. When I get on a better computer I’ll be going through my blogs and editing the shit out of them. It will take a lot of time but you all deserve no less.
I, Douglas David Hill, resolve to stop being a petty cunt and ignorant piece of fucking shit. Please accept my apology. I don’t expect forgiveness.
I will never fail you again. Ever.