I’ve progressively gotten softer over the years.  There was I time that I was such an ignorant and disagreeable lout that I couldn’t maintain positive friendships.  The friends I actually did have were the world’s biggest douchbags.  We were all in the same boat.

Times have changed.  As I became a better person I noticed the quality of my friends change.  I also noticed that the more I changed, the less tolerable I became of the douchebags.  It’s not as though I just abandoned the douchebags completely.  I mean they put their time in with me.  I do my best to keep in touch but realistically there is no real common bond anymore other than a stained past.

Right now I am sitting in a situation where people either love me or hate me.  There is no real happy medium.  I’m genuinely proud of this.  That is a testament to my character.  I stand up to bullies.  Whether it be a cyber-bully, a real life bully, an elitist pseudo-intellectual, or just an all around cunt.  I am Alpha.  You come to me with your shit and I will spank you.  Words are my bullets, and I’m John Fucking Rambo.  I’ve yet to fall and I only grow more powerful with age.  Good people love me for that.  Bad people hate me for that.  Either way, they’re a fan.

Christ.  I can’t construct a coherent blog without going off on a “me” tangent.  This was supposed to be a good news blog.

Ok the good news.  George “Trole” Taylor has been one of my best friends, muse, musical mentor, and brother from another mother for 15 years.  He’s starting a record label called Skin City Records and I’ll be the first signing.  Trole is a hard worker and fronted one of the most successful indie bands Canada has ever seen.  When I say they did things on their own terms you best believe they did things on their own terms.  They’ve toured tirelessly and have sold out clubs everywhere with no label or video support.  Their roots rock and roll demanded every audience member’s fucking attention.  I don’t care if you were a rocker, rapper, or metal-head.  ANYONE who has ever seen Trole live can attest they were the greatest live band in the galaxy.

Take a band like The Matadors.  Add talent, honour, average height, and respect and you have Trole.  Not taking away anything from little Joel Parkins’ better than average guitar playing and showmanship.  But Trole is the real deal.  I learned later in life Joel was a Trole reject.  You can’t compare a band like the Matadors to a band like Trole.  That is like comparing Chris Walter to Stephen King.  Who?  Chris Walter.  This “punk rocker” who wants to be taken seriously as a writer.  He publishes his own books acting as though he’s too edgy for mainstream publication when in actuality his books are just shit.  I read one.  I compare it to reading a school project done by an 8th grader.

And I’ve gone and done it again.  I have turned my good news post into a dredgefest.  Some things will never change.

ANYWAY.  I’ll be working with closely with Trole, so I’ll be moving to his town.  We’ll be way more accessible to each other and we’re going to make a Doug Hell record that is going to set the world on fire.  I promise you that.  It will be the best thing to ever come out of me.  I’m going to be the first artist in the history of the world who gets better each album.  Under Trole’s tutelage and guidance moonlighting as a producer, I can’t fail


I’m excited to the point of giddiness.

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