When Delilahs Become Screams

I’m not like you.  What bothers you, may not bother me.  What bothers me, may not bother you.  Your prison is my sanctuary.  My sanctuary is your prison.  I’m not looking for something that doesn’t want to be found.  I don’t need what you need to be happy.  My mere existence is a dashing and bold adventure.  It begins at myself and ends with infinity.

Don’t cry for me.  My pain isn’t the same as yours.  My pain is inspirational and fucking gorgeous.  It moves me.  It helps me create.  It helps me destroy.  I am one with my pain.  I don’t run from it.  I’m not ashamed of it.  We’re in this together.  I have no desire to defeat my demons.  They have just as much right to be here as I do.  We got here the same way.  We began.

I will help my demons understand.  They will teach me too.  We have use for each other.  There is no conquering demons.  War is the way of the bully, and the psychopath.  I don’t want war.  I will do my best to understand everyone’s grievances.  It is my responsibility as a gorgeous and demented soul to be objective even in the face of madness.

Don’t cry for me.  You may be disgusted by me.  That is ok.  If that’s what you need to make your life more livable.  If that’s what it takes to make your world a little less scary, then you go right the fuck ahead.  I won’t oppose you.  I have enough opposition within myself to worry about your frivolous endeavours.

Dear Nemesis

You’re not the only one.  You are not the only one who hates me and who would love to see me fall.  I know you think that every post I make is about you.  That’s the I idea, you think.  But it’s not.  I’m just emoting and being as honest as possible.  That is not to say that once in  awhile I don’t center someone out.  I am not saying that.  But a post like this one today is generalized.  There is no victim.  I am not speaking to any one person.  That’s the truth.

But that is also my power.  I am The Reckoner.  I came into this world to destroy evil.  My super power?  I exist.  As long as I continue to exist, it will infuriate and diminish evil.  I have to survive.  No matter how much I want to die.  The innocent and weak need me.  I am their saviour.  I upset the balance of the greedy and evil.  

One day I will die.  But there will be a legacy.  You know it and it infuriates you.  BAM!  Feel that stab of anxiety you just got?  That was me saying what’s up fuckface?  I know who you are.  And you know who I am.  You hate me but you’re addicted to me.  You wish I was dead but you’re here reading every word.  You’re a fan.

Merry Christmas.  




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Posted by: Doug Hell on