Doug Days Are Over
Please stop emailing me. Jesus, please stop emailing me. I am aware of my lack of updates. Suffer. It took me a week to get settled. It took another week for me to give a fuck. There is some food for thought. If one doesn’t truly give a fuck, then why say so?
I’ve declared war on my innards. The last few days I’ve been swearing by my Mucillum. Today I took a crap that was at least three feet long. That’s no exaggeration. It felt fucking great. I haven’t dropped a deuce like that since 1989.
This site sucks and I can’t believe you come here. I decided to go through it today to see what the allure is. The music is horrible. The writing is ok, but a vanity project at best. What the fuck are you doing here? And then when I don’t write for a couple days I start getting emails. I’ll bet you idiots would stop emailing me if I started posting the emails.
I’m in Ajax now. And let me tell you, it fucking sucks moose cock. I know I like to clown on Toronto, but fact of the matter is I’m just bitter that I can’t afford to live there. Ajax SUCKS. The thing I hate most about Ajax is it reminds me of everything else in life that I hate. Like people who say hangry. That’s fucking stupid and not clever. The last thing I was to hear out of some unoriginal twatface’s mouth when I’m hungry and pissed off, is that I am “hangry.” Fuck you. You suck. You should be shot and pissed on.
All the Wednesday 13 drama has finally died down. That was fun while it lasted. Alas, my 15 minutes are up. It’s back to being mentally ill and old for me.
So when I quit smoking I decided to put the money I was spending on cigarettes into a savings account. Last week I saw the guitar of my dreams. It’s a Gibson Starburst. Queen Hell convinced me to bust into my savings and get it. There was some inspirational reason for it but I can’t remember, nor do I care. Queen Hell is awesome. So is this guitar. I will leave it to my son, Riley, when I die. Riley is 20 and a nifty little songsmith himself.
I gotta go. I’m tired and hungry. Plus Queen Hell is messaging me and I love her.