Tuesday Night Hate Crimes

I get my internet hooked up officially tomorrow.  I am tethering from my phone.  It’s laughable.

Right now it’s all about the crackers and cheese.  I’m sitting here pining for crackers and cheese.  A few days ago I was swearing vengeance on my apathy, but I’m off to a rocky start.  The first few days of my diet have been uninspiring.   I’ve been so tired from the move, not to mention hauling my clambering bulk all over the city running errands.  So I’ve been cheating a little.  Not to mention I live extremely close to a fantastic bakery that makes very delicious and inexpensive food…

I’m pathetic.  I know this.  But I will bounce back.  I better.  I’m a gluttonous mouth away from bouncing period.  But I’ve got this.  I haven’t just been sitting around playing video games.  I’ve been going out like crazy and running around town like an asshole getting things done.

This place is over a hundred years old.  I love it too.  I can feel the history in this place.  It pleases me.

I hate to say this but I think my musical career is winding down.  I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.  I’ve exceeded my expectations.  I did everything on my own terms and never compromised my principles.  I’ll keep writing and singing but I’m not loving performing live as much as I used to.

I hate bars.  I hate playing in them.   Perhaps if I could just play coffee and art houses.  I’m not being an elitist.  I don’t think I am better than anyone.  It’s just really worn thin on me.  I’ve been giving some serious thought to becoming a youth mentor, or an addictions counselor.  This seems a little ironic considering I showed up at a bar earlier today to train as a bartender.  But that is when it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I don’t want to be around bars anymore.  I loathe night life culture.  This isn’t a judgement.  Just a preference.

As far as my new choice in a career goes, I need to do something that is going to fulfill me, as well as feed me.  I need to do something in which I am going to be able to live with myself.  I can’t go do some pointless high paying job that serves no purpose other than making someone money somewhere.  What is the point of that?  I want to help people and be able to sustain myself monetarily while doing it.

Just so you know, I actually did register for the gym today.  I start tomorrow and I am giddy just thinking about it.  A friend of mine suggested to me that before I start the fascist illogical diet and brutal training regiment, I need to change my lifestyle.  It was a good suggestion.  I’m going to do this slowly and surely and make gradual progress as opposed to piping off out here about being Jim Jupiter.

Long day and I am tired.  I’m going to unwind with my crackers and cheese and keep it mad real.

Love hard people.


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One comment so far:

  1. Swanson says:

    Yeah man, you don’t need to run out and get liposuction and go fuckin Tony Little on the workout and diet. But make sure that there is progress

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Posted by: Doug Hell on