Standing On The Shoulders Of Morality

What in the actual FUCK?!

I admit to be hooked on Watchmojo’s top tens on Youtube.  I wouldn’t say that I am a big fan.  But I fire them up whenever I am eating.  I just finished watching Top 10 movies with the most backlash.  Nowhere on that list was The Passion Of Christ or 12 Years A Slave.  Do those assholes at Watchmojo even watch movies?

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So my car got broken into last night.  I’m definitely back in Hamilton.  I totally forgot to lock it.  There was no sign of a forced entry.  They popped the hood but didn’t take anything.  They popped the trunk too but only would find about 100 pounds of dirt from yesterday’s plant fiasco.  More on that later.

The perpetrators were having a good rummage but were stopped short when they found a Hamilton Police patch in the console.  My best friend’s sister is a cop.  I always get cool shit from him.  I keep asking for a Glock but he just shakes his head sadly as if wondering where I went wrong.

So they got nothing.  Oh wait, that’s not true.  They got something.

They took my fucking cane.  My cane!  It’s not even sexy!  It’s one of those geriatric aluminum things.  They’re about 30 bucks new!  What in the hell is wrong with people?  So when I went for today’s walk, I had to be all spectacular and erect as possible – without a fucking cane.

Well I’ll have the last laugh.  I’m going to kick the living shit out of everyone I see with the same cane.  I don’t care how old they are.  I am meticulous.  Someone is going to pay.


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Posted by: Doug Hell on