I’m done. I get it now. I get where I’ve gone wrong.
First of all, I would like to thank Alek, Stephen, and Jeff for their generosity. I’m going to be eating a lot of Kraft Dinner this month but at least I won’t be going hungry, and that is thanks to you guys. I love you for having my back and giving a shit. For that, you will forever get the best version of me.
The rest of you fucking clowns can piss or go fishing. Now before you start crying, I am generalizing. I don’t mean each and every one of you. You’re all beautiful people in your own right, but I’m done being your dancing bear.
I won’t be posting my hardships on here anymore. It only does more damage than good. It doesn’t aspire. It doesn’t do much other than bring good people down and inspire laughs from angry malcontents. It’s over.
I am not shutting this site down. I’m too self-important for that. I just realized where I’ve been going wrong. I’ve gone hungry and I swear to Jesusfuckinghell I will never go hungry again.
Here is the fundamental problem. I spent the last four years of my life loving the living holy fuck out of someone. We both made it hurt.
I was completely unprepared for this kind of love though. I fought it tooth and nail and developed a martyr complex along the way. But I stuck with it. I tried to leave. I tried to destroy it. I tried to not save it. But even after everything and all the pain, the love still survived. It was still there. I couldn’t destroy it. But I also couldn’t let it be destroyed.
I’m still here. So is the love. Only now it’s stronger than ever. It’s real. It’s monumental. Hell, it’s fucking BIBLICAL.
No more fucking around and playing the role of a buffoon out here. I won’t discuss my personal life in a negative light anymore. I know I inspire many of you and I resolve to not stop. The world is full of evil. We don’t need to be afraid of it. There will always be evil, but as long as we exist, we will make it wish it was never born. Let’s keep at this.
And you toxic people disguised as saints and loved ones? We have your number. We will continue to be cordial with you because we’re good people but don’t expect the best of us. The time is coming where you’re going to wish you were better people.
The last month of my life has been magical. My number one priority has become doing what I have to do to nurture and sustain that magic. I owe it to my love, and I owe it to myself.
“Let’s take those broken broken dreams and burn them to the ground.”
– Doug Hell