Thanks again to those who helped me through this rough time. It won’t happen again. I remember a time my step-father told me that he went hungry for three days when he was 18. It was after that time he resolved to never go hungry again. Incidentally, he didn’t. I don’t like to use my step-father as a source of inspiration. More on that some other time. Needless to say, I am never going to go hungry again and I have a newfound thankfulness and appreciation for people.
I’m happier than I’ve been in a long time. I would dare say that I am happiest I’ve ever been. It was very encouraging and inspirational to see the amount of people who came out and helped me. I owe an apology to those who were offended in my last piece. I told the ones who didn’t help me to piss or go fishing. Again, I was generalizing. In hindsight it was a bloody stupid thing to say. I was just frustrated with the ones who grandstanded on my Facebook wall about helping when they had an audience only to fade when the reckoning came.
I need to be more selective about who I give my time and attention to. I can’t allow myself to be someone’s temporary alternative to loneliness and then be relegated to acquaintance status as soon as I lose my usefulness. That is fine. The wheel turns. It’s yet another learning experience.
I hope you’re all doing well. In the wake of these hurricanes and whatever else, I encourage you to stay strong and luminous. This world can be dark but it can also be very beautiful. Cling to the beauty like a parasite. Don’t be ashamed.
I’m not sure how entertaining you are going to find me from here on. I’ll do my best, but frankly I have completely changed my priorities. Things that weren’t important to me before have suddenly become very important to me.
I just want everyone to be fucking happy.
I mean that too. You won’t ever heal yourself by wounding someone else. You just won’t. You have to stop harbouring resentment too. Harbouring resentment is like sitting on cold concrete and expecting your enemy to get piles. Let it go.
I can’t guarantee I’m going to love everyone, but I do forgive them.
I’m also in love. I’ve never been in love before. I’ve been in relationships in which I went great lengths to have the emotional upper hand so I couldn’t get hurt. Love hurts man. It’s not just a shitty song. For a guy with LOVE HARD tattooed across his finger, I really never had a clue.
Tattoos. If I could go back I would keep the one under my eye. That’s it. All they’ve done for me is make me look like a fucking hood. I don’t like that. I’m not a hood. I am an extremely sensitive artist who is capable of immense compassion and understanding. Hamilton is one tough fucking town. It’s not an ideal place for a 44 year old pacifist, who looks like an enforcer for a biker gang, to live quietly and peacefully. But I am stuck here now and I intend to make the best of it.
This is not to say I don’t love Hamilton. I really do. Hamilton is a tough town that takes care of its own. It has absolutely gorgeous architecture and plenty of eye candy for an artist. I never truly appreciated Hamilton and its beauty until I jettisoned my baggage. I never basked in the warmth of its history and beautiful energy until I accepted and understood love. I get it now.
On Monday I rehearse with my new band. I’m thrilled to no end. I have a PERFECT line-up of musicians ready to make my songs feel nice. I’m ready.
Thanks for tuning in guys. I hope there is plenty of love and light in all your lives.