Unavoidable Velocities

Check me out, eh?  The titles I come up with.  I am GIFTED.

So my computer took a shit.  I’m just waiting for a new one.  Then I’ll be back.


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Echoes Of The Ether

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A Day Late And A Buck Short

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Out Of The Frying Pan

I am a disaster when I’m out of my habitat.  It’s only nine thirty in the morning and I’m knee deep in catastrophe.  I’m out in the middle of nowhere.  They have a coffee maker here but I don’t employ the sorcery required to operate the damn thing.  I was smart and brought some instant coffee in my magical bag of cords and wires.

Let’s talk about the gas stove.  No one explained to me how to turn it on.  In true scholarly style I turned it on to high and started searching for a mug.  It wasn’t much of a search and I did manage to find it in seconds.  But u\in that same amount of seconds the kitchen area filled with a very very gassy smell.  I’m not talking about me either.  This was explosion gas smell.  I observed the stove and realized I was supposed to turn the dial just a little mo-


I’m lucky my glasses aren’t melted to my head.  But I do have coffee and i’m very happy.  As soon as I hop-vac all this water from the flood in the basement, I’ll be able to start my day.

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These Sinners Make Me Nervous

Hello hello.  I’ve been trying to fire up the Instagram machine.  I’m having a bit of a time with it.  I went nuts too when I realized I could blog live on Facebook.  No one cares however.  On a good day I would get 76 views.  Go me.

It’s a lot more fun being, real than the loudmouth braggart I spent so many years being.  It’s true.  Maybe the fact I am going physically blind is just making me seem more pathetic than I think I am.

I’m having problems with this site.  It won’t let me upload any new pictures.  It won’t let me update my theme.  I was hoping my developer would figure that out but he’s too busy being extremely good looking. That right there is one problem I’ll never have.

Ok so I know I put out two albums already this year.  It’s because of this abundance, I have decided to put out another one WITH REAL DRUMS.  It will all be new material.  Well, new to you guys anyway.  I don’t know why I feel so guilty when I go to do songs I’ve already done a few times.  I’m always reminded by fans that they already heard it.

Look, I get that.  But I don’t think I have as many fans as I like to think I do.  I KNOW that I don’t have as many fans as you think I do.

Anyway.  This week I am going into a studio.  I want to make a record outside my comfort zone.  I want to raise my game as far as performance goes.  I want to make a heavy but melodic album that isn’t punk or acoustic.

It’s going to be great.  I can promise you that.  I don’t think I have a bad album to date with the exception of that twangy piece of shit I did with Get Bent Records.  That was my fault though.  The Durham Region had a big influence on me with all the acousticy twangy bands out there.  I let my guard down.

This album is going to be a completely different monster.  It will be all me.  Every instrument.  Even drums.  I can’t play the drums.  But I am prepared to track one drum a time.  If I can program drums I can play them well enough to get them to tape.  Like I said, if I have to do one drum at a time…

I’ve also been jamming stoner rock riffs with my main squeeze, Prentice Man.  We just want to have some fun.  This recording project I am working on though is a full on Doug Hell album.  I am so excited about it that I can hardly breathe.

It’s been a tough week mentally.  It’s really hard to explain mental illness to people.  And it’s doubly hard to try and explain it without coming across like you’re sympathy mongering.  I can’t blame everything on the illness, but it all begins with neurosis and it snowballs from there.

This album though.  It will be the best thing I’ve ever done.  I only have a week to write it and record it.  Most of it will be from scratch but there will be ideas I’ve had kicking around for a few years that sporadic ex-bandmates will know about here and there, but sporadic ex-bandmates aren’t my target audience.

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